The Perfect Diplomat
With a mighty tug, Troy hoisted the rope from over the starboard bow, trawling down into the water below, feeling the net beginning to raise. He felt the urge to wipe the sweat from his brow, as it had been gathering profusely all evening, but still, he remained rooted in place, his boots digging into the decking as he pulled and pulled. This was a heavy load, and one slip could send it tumbling back into the water.
His arms were beginning to ache from the exertion, and he could feel his muscles becoming taut as he heaved once more, bringing the rope and its accompanying net closer to home. One more burst of energy, he was sure, and he'd be able to lift it onto the deck.
Steeling himself with the gritting of teeth and the narrowing of eyes, he allowed his arms to relax for a second before exploding in motion, pulling with all of his strength, incorporating his weight before hearing an alarming crash against the side of the ship as the rope refused to cooperate, becoming rooted in place.
Something had snagged the netting, and he couldn't pull it any further. "Lyra!" he called out, trying to mask his worry. "I need you on deck!"
A soft, mint green cat lazily sauntered over to him, licking her lips as she wagged her tail back and forth. "This had better be good," she whined, stretching out her body as she embedded her claws into the ship's wooden surface, slowly scratching as she spread herself out. "You woke me from the most darling nap."
"Lyra, will you please open your eyes?" Troy all but snapped, struggling to hold onto the rope.
As soon as she did, revealing large golden irises, she glanced from Troy to the rope in his hands, then over to the side of the deck, jumping onto the railing and looking over at the net. "Oh. Fuck."
"Indeed," Troy grunted, feeling the rope beginning to slip through his fingers. "Think you could give me a little help?"
Even in a situation this dire, Lyra had no sense of urgency. Like every cat he had encountered, she took a while to adjust to being awake, and as such he was left waiting for her to complete a yawn and another stretch before firing up her horn. She was a tarysk, a horned cat, and could channel various spells through her horn. Grabbing the net in her magic, she began to slowly lift it, causing Troy to cry out in alarm. "No! You can't lift it straight up, it'll tear!"
Panicking, Lyra let go of the spell, causing the heavy net to crash against the small sloop, lightly rocking it and causing her to teeter on the edge as her ears flattened and she dug her claws into the wood hard, letting out a panicked mowl. When the turbulence had passed, she turned to Troy with a scowl on her face, her tail wrapping around her side. "I swear, if your stupid net problem had made me take a bath just now, I would have scratched you to death."
Usually, Troy would have laughed off such a comment, but with his arms beginning to give out and the knowledge that he would get the sole blame if the net was damaged, he was in no mood for her attitude. "Now listen to me," he growled, glaring at her hard. "If this net gets torn, I'll be the one held accountable."
"Don't see how that's my problem," Lyra shrugged, pushing her chest forwards onto the railing and moving to lay down, squeezing her eyes shut.
Oh, if he didn't have his hands full, he would have made her take a fucking bath by now. A long, defeated sigh and Troy turned to her once more, almost forgetting the pain his arms were enduring in the face of his relent. "Please. I'll make it worth your while."
Lyra's tail twitched, but she remained otherwise inert.
"I'll give you a fresh carp from the catch," he offered, lathering on a smile.
Lyra slowly, lackadaisically opened an eye halfway, her head stirring, but then began to lower it once more.
"Two carp!" Troy shouted, now feeling desperate as his arms screamed at him to give up and stop suspending the damn thing in place. "Big ones! I'll even cook them for you, how's that sound?"
Finally, her eyes opened once more, her paw absently tapping against the wood as she raised herself to standing and leapt down onto the deck with a sudden agility, brushing past his leg. "Rainbow Dash!" she shouted, her voice becoming more of a bestial screech as she called out the name.
No response. Rainbow was an even heavier sleeper than Lyra. "Rainbow, you lazy puss, get down here!" Lyra yowled out, angling her head towards the topmast with a voice that would make Troy's fur stand on end if he had any. Still, she heard nothing and eventually decided to play her trump card. "Troy said there's two carp in it for us each if we help him with the mess he got into! Come on, hurry up!"
"Carp?" came the almost instantaneous reply. It seemed the word had a habit of waking sleepy cats. It also seemed that Troy was the only one on the ship that did his job properly, half the time. "What do I need to do?"
"Just fly down and untangle the net. Try not to let anything fall out while you're doing it."
For a moment, there was silence. "...two carp, right?"
"Yup!" Lyra nodded, grinning at Troy.
"Roger!" and with a buzz of wings, Troy watched as in his peripherals the blue and rainbow coloured queen rushed past him, dipping under the deck and presumably going to work. Scowling, he turned back to Lyra. "Why should I give you anything? Rainbow's doing all of the work."
"Hey, I still helped you. You didn't say anything about not acting as middlecat," Lyra winked, an act almost sinister on her features, but still irritatingly adorable. "I like my carp grilled," she added as she walked off, leaving a befuddled Troy to wait for Rainbow to fix the net, still forced to hold onto it.
It wasn't long until Rainbow had deciphered the puzzle of the snagged net, and before long the catch and equipment alike were saved. She emerged on deck, shaking off the odd bit of water and complaining of how it clung to her fur before asking after her prize, the two carp she had been promised. Now that Troy no longer had anything to be held over him, he told her to take it up with Lyra, who in his opinion should give Rainbow the two he had promised her for doing absolutely nothing of use.
The argument over the spoils persisted even as the small crew made port in Baltimau, the city Troy had known as home for many months now. Troy was lucky that feline architects favoured large, open plan buildings, as he would never fit inside any otherwise. An hour later, the three of them stood in the company warehouse arguing over the deal even as the rest of the crew slept, wandered about, ate and groomed themselves.
Troy was beginning to grow convinced that they were in cahoots, because as soon as he mentioned that Lyra was getting two, Rainbow insisted that she wanted three for doing the lion's share of the work, and then Lyra piled on, saying that she deserved an equal amount, so they should get three each. Their bickering was interrupted by a portly tomcat, middle-aged and wearing a pair of spectacles designed to clip around his ears. "What is all the fuss about?" he asked in a concerned tone, looking between the three.
Lyra instantly clammed up. "Well, boss..."
"Yes?" he said, one eye widening behind his glasses. "I haven't all day, so be out with it."
"You see, Troy promised us some fish for helping him with the net—"
"With the net you say?" the boss repeated, his eyes suddenly sharper as his tail fur began to jut out. "Suppose you need compensation for assisting a colleague with his work?"
Lyra backed up a step, looking at the floor. "No, it isn't that, Mr Yarn, it's that he offered, and now he's going back on what he said."
"I'd imagine he needed to offer to get any assistance out of you," Yarn growled, glowering at the pair of them. "And you," he continued, his eyes squaring on Troy. "You're offering away company produce for assistance? Where is your spine?"
Troy's face hardened; he wanted to drop the pair of them in it right then, to tell Yarn what really happened and save face, but he bit his tongue and allowed himself to share in the blame. It was true that no matter the reason, he had offered to give away his boss's fish. "It won't happen again, sir."
"See that it doesn't," Yarn said with a stiff nod, though his features soon softened, almost to an uncharacteristic degree. "I'd like to see you in my office in five minutes." He took his leave then, offering no explanation.
A brief worry flashed through Troy's mind at the notion of being called for a meeting following the conversation he had just had, but something about Yarn's face and tone told him that things were fine. The usually stern cat almost never looked that way—he must have been in a good mood.
When he was finally a good distance away, Troy turned to see Lyra and Rainbow both looking up at him with large, shining eyes. He could hear a soft vibration emanating from the pair of them, and Rainbow moved forwards, taking wing and softly brushing her head against his belly, her ear flattening against him as she purred in approval. Lyra did the same, lightly rubbing against his leg and trailing around him, her tail brushing him through his trousers.
Troy still felt strange to admit it, but he enjoyed the sensation. They were somehow softer than the cats from his old home, and the ease with which they excited him with simple touches was almost unreal. He looked curiously down at the two, but internally, he was pretty sure he knew what it was about.
Lyra spoke first. "Thanks for not ratting us out," she meowed, brushing his leg once more. "Sit down for me?"
This was the thing about cats. They may have been selfish a lot of the time, but they knew how to do gratitude. Following her request, Troy sat on the floor and allowed Lyra to climb up into his lap, between his legs, her paws lightly tapping against his foreleg and eventually thigh as she slowly made her way up him, settling on his crotch and nuzzling his belly, leg, and hip with her head.
Her head tugged his shirt up a fraction, and he could feel her whiskers brushing against his skin, almost euphoric from the contact alone as all the while Rainbow circled him, lightly touching her head against his torso and neck and then spiraling round to rub her fuzzy little nose against his, her lithe body twisting as she swiveled back, looking at him with half-lidded eyes.
Troy would be lying if he pretended he didn't feel a stirring down below from their ministrations, so soft and needy, solely focused on their determination to give thanks to him the best way their instincts knew how. None of the other cats present batted an eyelid as Lyra slipped her head inside of his shirt, lightly licking against his belly as she shifted her paws, one lightly brushing against his semi-hard shaft as her horn tickled his stomach.
He had to fight an urge to unbutton his trousers as she persisted, knowing that it would be easy to slip his cock out and that with the way she was acting, there was a good chance she'd rub against it with just as much enthusiasm, if not more.
He felt Lyra beginning to purr once more, and the vibration carried along her entire body, even stimulating his cock as it still grew harder and thicker. "It's cosy in here," Lyra sighed as she patted her front paws against Troy's stomach, her tail curling up. "You're missing out, Rainbow."
"Hrrr... you're right. Where's my turn?" she growled, settling on Troy's shoulder and curling up, wrapping her tail around the back of his neck. He could feel her tail rubbing the tip of his spine as they fought over him, and he couldn't help but feel his ego beginning to inflate. He wasn't even sure if it was intentional anymore. Honestly, he wasn't sure he cared. The feeling of a soft, fluffy tail against his back, a pair of paws padding his shoulder, a little tongue lapping at his belly and an errant paw unconsciously rubbing against his cock through the fabric of his trousers...
Troy grunted, shifting his weight as he tried to get Lyra away from his crotch, knowing he couldn't take much more of this torture. She poked her head out from his shirt at the jostling, pouting up at him. "What's wrong?" she asked, her voice laced with confusion. "Aren't you comfy?"
Troy was too comfy. He was comfy enough to pull down his jeans and fuck the pair of them, if he could even fit inside them. He hadn't considered the inherent difficulties of having sex with one of them before, but he imagined he'd just be able to squeeze inside if he pushed hard enough. It was thoughts like that that led to him shifting in place, his face flushed as he attempted to keep himself at bay.
They both knew exactly what they were doing, and it was proven when he saw them share a small smile. Rainbow extended her claws, very slowly digging into his shoulders and moving them down to his chest as she moved up, looking ready to pounce as her wings unfurled, tapping her tail against his face twice before leaping off, circling Lyra above Troy's lap as he fought the urge to lay down and stop hiding his arousal.
His train of thought was broken by the tick of a clock above him, the metal hand moving with a mechanic whir. Had it really been five minutes already? "Girls," he said, his breath laboured. "I need to—"
"Stay and enjoy our company?" Lyra purred, placing a paw on his belly. "I agree wholeheartedly."
That did sound nice. He could enjoy their company for a long, long time. No, work came first. "Mr Yarn's expecting me," he said with more force, preparing to stand, but both remained routed on his lap and shoulder. A small smirk appeared on his face. "Don't make me pick you up," he warned, stretching out his hands.
"You wouldn't!" Lyra sneered, nuzzling him once more.
Well, looks like it was time to make good on that threat. He placed his hands around Lyra's midriff, lifting her with ease as she 'rawl'ed and batted at his hands. After Rainbow saw his cathandling, she leapt off of his shoulder, apparently not wanting to endure the same degradation.
Troy smiled triumphantly before beginning to rise but was halted by a pounce from Lyra, landing on his chest with as much force as her light frame could muster and almost sending him toppling back if only for the shock of it. "I don't want you to go," she complained, her ears pinned to her head as her eyes glossed over. "Just stay a little longer?"
Right, enough. If he stayed any longer he had a suspicion he'd never be able to bring himself to leave. Troy shook his head with conviction before rising anyway, causing Lyra to leap off as he stood before them. "You're no fun," she pouted before slowly slinking off, raising her tail and giving Troy a full view of what sat between her legs. "Coming, Rainbow?"
A nod and she quickly followed on, leaving Troy pondering his life choices. When did work become more important than pussy? He had been here for five bloody months already, and he hadn't had sex in just as long. Mr Yarn had better have had a good reason for this meeting.
Troy walked past the small cats, taking care not to step on any of them as he went. He knew they had strong frames for their size, but a human-sized boot had a tendency to leave bruises. Approaching Yarn's office, he knocked, quickly being bidden entry.
It was a typical administrative room, an oaken table with maps and charts, a larger map of the known river and sea routes adorning the wall, a small fireplace smouldering in the side of the room and a small desk complete with stationary and a typewriter, the perfect size for Yarn, who was equally small.
"Hello, Troy." Yarn said, looking up from the papers he had been perusing. "I'm afraid I haven't a seat in here to fit your stature, would the rug suffice?"
Troy nodded, setting down on the plush red rug by the table, bringing it to roughly his height. What he saw on the table was a map that extended slightly beyond the usual scope, almost out of Baltimau's borders. Troy raised an eyebrow at this. "Is this..." he pointed to the map, the confusion etched in his tone.
"Why, yes," Yarn replied in his prim voice, stepping over to get a look. "This is beyond our usual travel zone, almost at the border of where we can legally sail under our license. It doesn't exceed the border if that's what you were wondering. That would be rather bad practice."
"Even still..." Troy mumbled, contemplative. "I'm surprised you were even able to find sailors who would travel that far out, the worry plagues most that live here."
"Some are braver than others," Yarn smiled, that lightness flooding his features once more. "And I'm ever so glad that they are, as their efforts have proven quite fruitful. Quite fruitful indeed."
Troy arched his head, trying to assess the implication. "You found something?"
"That they did, boy." Yarn walked off then, out of the door, leaving it ajar as he fetched a holed box. He brought it into the room, plopping it down on the table and opening the lid and revealing a medium sized fish on ice. "I was wondering if you could identify it for me. You've seen much more of the sea than any cat, after all."
"That's unmistakably haddock," Troy said, a surprised grin on his face as his eyes widened, the scent hitting his nose and transporting him home. He remembered his mother's cooking, the fresh catches from Dungeness being grilled and steamed. He'd never seen haddock here, even heard of it. He assumed from Yarn's excitement that he hadn't either. "Is this the only one?"
"It isn't! In fact, last I checked, there were eighteen of them from the last voyage. A new fish, Troy!" he said, his face becoming animated and lively as his glasses threatened to fall off. "Do you know what this means?!"
Yarn's happiness was almost infectious, as Troy felt himself beginning to grow more excited with each passing moment. "This will make waves, sir. You'll be able to market it as a delicacy. Don't tell anyone where you found it, the longer it takes others to catch on, the longer you're the exclusive supplier."
"Yes, I'm aware," Yarn nodded, calming slightly. "The only problem is, the place we found these is so close to the border, and I get the distinct feeling that there are more of these exotic creatures further on. Perhaps even other fish we are unaware of, ones you've not even seen!"
"I don't know, Yarn," Troy laughed, shaking his head. "I've sailed quite far in my time, sampled a lot of seafood. Caught most of it, of course."
"But there's a chance!" Yarn smirked, a glint in his eyes. "And even if you have seen them all before, our customers haven't!" Yarn stood for a second, sobering himself as he tapped a paw on the desk. "The only problem is this damned blockade! It limits us so."
Troy frowned, immediately empathising with his boss. "You know why these measures are in place, though. You know why your people fear to trawl too far."
"It's a slap in the face," Yarn sighed, his whiskers twitching. "My boy, we sit on the precipice of something truly lucrative here, not to mention novel and exciting, and our own blasted superstitions keep us from pursuing it!"
"With all due respect, sir, they aren't just superstitions. There's evidence to suggest that magically enchanted items cease to work when too far from the continent. It could be the same for all magic, and your beings are tied to magic—it's part of your lifeforce."
"When did you become a prophet of Bastet?" Yarn laughed, his ears sticking up as he adjusted his glasses.
"About the same time I realised there were magical cats who could talk," Troy snickered. "I had to rationalise it somehow."
"You think you aren't equally alien to me, boy? Anyway, we're getting off track. The point of this is that regardless of the dangers inherent, we would only need to expand the fishing borders by a quarter mile, perhaps a half mile to the west. Cats have sailed further than that before and been completely fine, it's documented."
"That sounds like a lot of red tape," Troy said. "I imagine you'd have to grease a few paws if you wanted to go through the official avenues."
"It's worse than that. Going through the local councils would mean revealing my edge! Suddenly, those fat cats would be holding a bloody auction over the right to fish there and selling it to the highest bidder! Parasites are what they are, I tell you."
Troy chose to ignore the irony of Mr Yarn using that phrase, who looked more like a ball of round fluff than a cat. "What do you suggest, then? You can't just fish there anyway, if you get caught your trading license will be completely revoked!"
"I do have an idea..." Yarn said, tapping a paw against his chin before rising and plodding over to his desk. "It's a little far-fetched, but I believe it could work." Turning, he looked to Troy with a brilliant smile. "I want to go over the bastards' heads, the lot of them."
This time, Troy did have to stifle a laugh. "You're mad. There is no way the city chancellor will see you over something like this, he'll consider it trivial at best and irksome at worst."
"Not the chancellor," Yarn smirked, his eyes narrowing as a youthful little wiggle went through his body. "Princess Luna."
"The princess?!" Troy repeated, now openly laughing. "That's completely delusional! There's no way that would work. None whatsoever."
"My boy, you've got no cleverness about you! Think about it, what would a princess who holds court for her subjects enjoy more than anything in the world? Rather than another needy citizen begging and beseeching her for some triviality, a humble worker that only wishes to show his fealty to the crown and offer his princess a gift: a priceless, never before seen delicacy."
"So it would all be under the guise of a simple gift?"
"Of course! You don't skip the foreplay, after all, do you? Once our princess has dined on this exquisite specimen, she will be so impressed by it that she enquires as to its origins. This is when it'll be explained to her that in order for more of these to be found, a new fishing zone needs to be implemented."
"That's pretty devious..." Troy laughed, impressed. "So, when are you meeting her?"
"Not me," Yarn said, his face deathly serious. "You."
Troy bit his lip, his body lightly tensing. "Why me?"
"Because all tosh aside, we both know you're the best for it. Most of the crew, diplomacy isn't exactly their strong suit. Hell, if we sent Lyra over there she'd probably manage to get the place shut down somehow."
"And you can't go because..."
"Because I'm a fat old git and she wouldn't give me the time of day," Yarn said without missing a beat. "You're young, you're exotic, and you're a novelty to her, much like the fish. Not only that, but you know the fish. You know how to sell it too, I'm sure."
"But you're asking me to meet a princess," Troy stressed, leaning forwards and looking his boss in the eyes. "We aren't talking about some little business meeting, this is a direct audience with the leader of the country and subterfuge!"
"Heavens, you make it sound so sinister," Yarn laughed, holding out a paw and pointing to the haddock again. "Look at what we could accomplish with this, boy."
Troy's eyes didn't follow. "Yes, I know."
"No," Yarn said with a rigid tone. "You really don't. Think about it. First, we convince the princess to stretch out the borders just a little to bring back delicious food... what's next? Another find? Trade routes with countries we've never seen before? This isn't just about expansion, this is about exploration, but someone needs to take that first step or it'll never happen." Yarn's voice became more pronounced and he began waving a paw around as he gestured at the map. "Right now we are nought but a band of pussycats afraid of getting wet and it's about time that changed."
Troy had to wonder if he really felt so strongly about the issue or was just being dramatic in order to convince him to play along. You could never really tell with cats, even the ones you thought were straight. "It's like you're asking me to meet Queen Victoria and cajole her. You do realise that, don't you?"
"And you realise I have no clue who that is, do you not?"
"...I'll think on it, alright?"
Yarn's sharp grin almost brightened the room. "Splendid! Could you think on it on a train to her palace tomorrow?"
Troy resisted the temptation to tell him no, he knew no good would come of it. "Fine, I'll do it, but only because the idea of Lyra trying to convince royalty of anything puts shivers up my spine." As he said that, he thought to when he had last saw the girl moments before coming in and realised that shivers were travelling regardless.
"Wonderful! Thank you, Troy. I'll see that you're well compensated for the trip, whether it goes well or not. It's all arranged, so you know, the princess expects you to meet her tomorrow evening. She sounds anxious to try a new dish, from what I've heard."
"Wait, so you already had it arranged in advance? Why did you bother acting like I had a choice if you were just going to send me anyway?"
"It's a matter of courtesy, of course," Yarn answered as if it wasn't even a question.
Fucking cats. Troy rubbed the bridge between his eyes, looking at the floor. "Suppose I'll be travelling alone?"
"Well, unless you want Lyra to accompany you."
Another thought of earlier on assaulted Troy's brain, the return growing increasingly pleasant before he cast it away with a vivacious shake of his head. "Absolutely not," he blurted, realising only too late how rude that sounded.
Yarn burst in hysterics, his laughter having the occasional mewls thrown in as his tail lifted high like a beacon. "You have to be careful around that one, boy, she'll have you as soon as look at you."
Troy furrowed his brow, his teeth brushing the side of his cheek as he tried and failed to put his finger on what Yarn had said.
"You know queens like that, boy." Yarn said, a smile growing on his face. "You give them an inch..."
Apparently, their cultures shared the idiom. "They take a mile." Troy finished with a nod, understanding him.
"Wrong," Yarn said with the wave of a paw as his smile threatened to split his face. "You give them an inch and they'll take every inch you've got and when you wake up the next morning, the other side of the bed's still warm and your jewellery is gone."
"Christ," Troy snorted, a breathy laugh escaping him. "I didn't realise you thought so low of her."
"On the contrary, I think she has a lovely character, but there's no denying facts. She's a lazy cat that spends more time sleeping or shagging than actually doing anything. If anything, I'm jealous."
"Indeed..." Troy mumbled before shaking his head, realising what he was saying. His mind was flashing back to when Lyra had left with her tail in the air and he had caught a glimpse of the soft, tight hole sitting between her slender legs. In all honesty, she probably would be good company on a train journey, but Troy couldn't go back on what he said without explaining why, and he really didn't want to explain that he just wanted an excuse for alone time with that feline.
"Anyways, wishful thinking never got a tom anywhere, and there's work to be done. Feel free to take the rest of the day to yourself, I'm sure you have some packing to do."
"I doubt I'll be staying for long," Troy said with the flick of a hand. "I'd rather get back as soon as possible."
"Well you'll at least need a change of clothes, I'm told there's a guest suite being prepared for you to stay the night. Anyways, off you go. You take up half my office, boy."
It was always strange being called boy by a creature a fifth of his size, but stranger still for Troy was that Luna would take the liberty of setting up a room for him. Was that a courtesy they extended to everyone that visited? Somehow, Troy doubted that.
Troy looked out of the train carriage's window, ardent land rolling by as he approached the country's capital, Caterlot. The landscape was made up of expansive woodlands, thickets of trees and shrubs as far as the eye could see, snaking in messy arcs through the surrounding countryside. There were fewer fields here than in his homeland, likely due to the cats' lack of need for extensive agriculture, being carnivores.
Cats did cater for omnivorous species, but their selection was limited, and at times Troy would find himself missing the taste of a plum or apricot. Still, the meat was cooked to perfection, and there was always plenty of fish. Tasty fish too, he ensured it. Seeing the city approach, one of the only mountains to be populated by cats, rather than diamond dogs or griffons, he rubbed at the stubble on his chin, wondering what he could expect of Luna when he met her.
It was scary, the prospect of meeting someone so strong, so old and experienced, and Troy could feel the pumping of his heart as the train continued to chug forwards. Trains were one of the few magitechnological devices running purely on tarysk energy, the magic from their horns imbued in the vehicle and allowing it to run without propulsion or coal. Troy had been reluctant to trust such a device at first, one that ran on nothing but the magic it had been blessed with, but it didn't seem to have failed anycat just yet so his worries were likely misplaced.
The city of Caterlot was comprised mainly of wooden buildings on an upward curve, clinging around the side of the mountain and connecting via long walkways and sets of winding stairs. There were stone buildings also, but those were mainly at the ground level where the city walls stood. As the city rose, as did the towering spires of wood, a collection of surfaces that agile cats could jump between with ease.
Looking at the intimidating structures pushed a knot into Troy's belly as he imagined having to scale the structure and somehow arrive at the large castle sitting atop the mountain. There was no way he was backing away from a climb, but that didn't mean he had to be happy about it.
Ninety minutes and a twisted ankle later, Troy emerged at the peak of the city. Looking back made him feel slightly nauseous; he was a seafaring man, but he had never grown completely accustomed to heights on land. If you feel off a ship, you could be reeled in, you had a good chance of surviving. If you fell off a mountain? He shuddered at the thought.
Still, a long walk and a longer fall might have been better than what he was about to face next. The castle was large and grandiloquent, reaching high into the sky, higher than Troy had ever dared imagine standing. He supposed that when you had wings, you spent little time worrying about how high up you were. He wouldn't have minded a pair right then.
Walking forwards, he was guided by a white cat in a maid's outfit through the courtyard and into the main building. The doors and halls were incredibly large, and for once, he didn't feel as conscious of his stature—standing at five-eleven when surrounded by eighteen-inch tall cats took some getting used to.
The castle was just as splendid on the inside, murals, paintings, tapestries, decorations, bespoke arches and pillars, the works. It was everything Troy expected from a royal abode, and he couldn't help but marvel at the designs as his Hudsons clacked against the marble floor. His usual sailor's attire had been swapped out for a three-piece dark grey suit, a double-breasted jacket covering a black waistcoat and white shirt, a black bow tie neatly fastened.
Stopping, he felt the suit for any sweat patches. They were light, but there nonetheless. No shock either, not only had he had to scale the entire mountain's treacherous walkways, but also his nerves were beginning to pick up as he neared the place he would be meeting the princess.
Still, he at least knew that he was presentable. His short, light brown hair had been combed back and stuck with a waxy residue the homoeopath sold, his beard was trimmed to neat stubble, and his skin was exfoliated and unblemished. As it was, he was neat and tidy in a refined outfit, and it was only a blunder or other faux pas on his part that would render this meeting a failure. Not that he knew enough about feline customs to ensure that he wouldn't make one.
As he had climbed earlier, he'd made some attempts to guess at Luna's personality and temperament, but each supposition only lent more credence to the fact that he really had no clue what to expect. She was a princess, the champion of a cat goddess. How many of those had he encountered before now?
Very few, a number in the zero digits to be exact. His suitcase was taken to his room to his annoyance, he had hoped to take it himself and have a chance at a brief respite before being confronted with the princess. However, there was no polite way to say that, so he went along with it.
Troy's shirt collar felt tight around his neck and he struggled not to fiddle with it as he made his way into a small, intimate meeting room. This place looked personal, as if it was meant for meetings of vast import with dignitaries and lords, not fishermen. He looked to the seat at the head of the table, hoping to catch a sight of Princess Luna, to put a face to the name so revered.
There was no cat there, that was a certainty. At first, Troy had craned his neck, wondering if Luna was in fact so small he didn't notice her, but no, the chair was empty. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on a dark shape sitting atop a window sill, its tail glowing along with a mess of hair that sat atop its head, tied in a black band. Both shimmered in the evening light, and looking out at the darkening sky, Troy couldn't help but notice how the night complimented the cat's natural colours.
Noticeably, the cat didn't move when looked at. She was a fluffy thing with large tufts of fur on her chest which slowly rose and fell as she laid on her back, switching her gaze from the ceiling to the outside. She seemed restless, no, agitated, as if she had been woken and found it difficult to return to the calm of sleep.
Troy was unsure what he was meant to do in this situation. This was clearly Luna, that much he could tell just from her visage, but she said nothing, did nothing to acknowledge him. Would it be rude to ask for her attention? Would it be equally rude to simply stand and stare? Not liking either option, he tentatively opened his mouth, but all he managed to do was clear his throat, causing Luna to gaze at him with a teal eye and a small, discreet smile. "You have come to share your dish with me, yes?"
"Yes, your majesty," Troy replied, tone level, his face as straight as his back. He didn't realise he would clam up so much, but something about being around royalty was more than a little perturbing.
"Well, it seems you know who I am," Luna smirked, her tail raising as she tapped a single claw against the sill. "That saves us some time. You are Troy, correct?" she said, her eyes suddenly trained on him. She had the twin bright slits of a predator, and Troy almost felt like a target as she cast her gaze over him. "You'll have to forgive me if I stare," she said, her tone sombre. "I've yet to see a human in the flesh, only heard tell of them."
"Really?" Troy asked, momentarily forgetting decorum for his surprise. How had she not seen a human yet?
"You must understand, my duties keep me quite busy," Luna said, stifling a yawn between her words as she slowly rose. "I simply haven't had the time to be introduced to your race. This seemed as good an opportunity as any, and I get to try something new!" Suddenly, the previously soft and dulcet voice became lively and energetic, and Luna leapt a good fifteen feet from the sill to the seat at the head of the table, sending Troy's mouth agape.
"You look as if you're trying to catch trout," Luna snickered, pointing a paw at Troy's open mouth. "What is on your mind?"
"It's just..." Troy thought of how he could say it without sounding offensive. "I've never seen another cat do something like that so effortlessly, you barely even rose from your seat."
"You haven't encountered many of my race either, have you?" Luna smirked, a curious smile on her face as she tapped her cute little paws against the edge of the table, shifting back in her seat.
"I've never met a member of royalty, no, let alone an... Uhm, alicat?"
"Alley cat?" Luna repeated, her eyebrow-raising as her demeanour shifted into indignation.
"N-no!" Oh, great, now he was shouting. "No, ali is a prefix, something you put on the beginning of a word. It means 'other'."
"Do not assume I'm unaware of how prefixes work," Luna tutted, batting her tail against the side of the chair. "I am a Bestaur, and a hungry one at that. You'll dine with me, Troy?"
That wasn't a question, even if it was phrased as one. "Of course, your majesty."
"I haven't the pallet for fish at this moment, so we will save your dish for the morrow." Suddenly, Luna's eyes sparked with juvenile joy and her ears perked up high. "In the meantime, could I interest you in some ice cream?"
"...ice cream?" Troy repeated, confused. "Aren't your race lactose intolerant?"
"Perks of being Bastet's champion, I didn't inherit that little trait," Luna beamed, apparently especially happy about this. Troy could understand why, ice cream was amazing. What was more amazing still was how much energy this cat suddenly had as she bounced up in her seat. "I'll fetch us some at once! 'tisn't worthy of bothering the chef over, something so small. Oh, the ice cream we have stocked is glorious, it melts on your tongue and overloads your senses with sweetness. Just wait!"
With that, Luna leapt onto the table, jumped once more, almost brushing against Troy as she glided past, and then in the peak of her ascent, disappeared in midair with a sudden flash!. Troy barely had time to question her actions before she had returned, two bowls filled with vanilla ice cream in her aura, Troy's dotted with strawberries.
It had been so long since he had had strawberries! Keeping calm, Troy nodded towards Luna, who had already started digging into her bowl with an expression of glee, at first practising good manners and using a spoon but soon forgoing it and licking up the bowlful with her long tongue. "This is very considerate of you, your highness."
"Shut up and eat," Luna rowled between laps of her tongue, quickly fighting her way through her portion. Grasping a spoon in his hand, he sank it into the ice cream and dug it out, the texture exceptionally soft against the spoon as it had already begun to melt. A strawberry precariously balanced on top, he brought it to his mouth and had a taste of the stuff Luna was so mad for.
He was met by a beautiful mix of flavours, the ice cream almost reminiscent of Cornish clotted cream, heaven against his tongue. He had to resist the urge to dive in as Luna had, remembering to practice good manners as he took small bite after small bite.
Looking up from his wonderful dessert, he saw that Luna had already worked her way through hers, and was now sitting with her eyes happily closed, slowly licking the last of the cream from around her lips. As soon as it was all gone, she began to pout. "Seems I didn't bring enough. Are you happy to share yours? You don't seem too keen on it."
"Oh, I am, princess," Troy assured her, taking another small bite.
"Then why do you eat it like it is your last meal?" Luna said with a laugh, softly prowling her way over the table and up to the bowl. Leaning forward, she gave the ice cream a small lick. "I may not eat the strawberries, but I can appreciate their taste," she smiled, a paw softly tapping his hand. "Would you mind moving them to one side?"
Jesus, her fur was like velvet. She was much softer than any other cat he had touched. "Y-yes, of course," Troy scooted the strawberries to one side and began to eat in earnest, forgetting restraint as he attempted to match Luna's ferocity—she seemed intent to devour the lot otherwise.
They worked their way through the bowl in relative silence, the only sound in the room the light clattering of spoon against bowl, Luna's soft licks, and her hums and purrs of satisfaction. Her purr seemed to emanate throughout the whole room, a powerful thing that Troy could almost feel from feet away, igniting his chest and muddling his brain.
When the bowl was finally finished, he sat back with a sigh, feeling pleasantly full. How she had managed to eat so much with such a small frame was completely beyond him, he had no clue where she put it all, or how she could ever fit that much inside her. She was a curious cat, a beautiful one too, her fur so soft, her eyes so powerful, and her coat and hair so unique...
"You have some ice cream on your lips," Luna said matter of factly, staring up at him from the table.
Touching a finger to his lips, he found that he had indeed indulged himself a little too much—there was even a little on his cheek. Quelling his rising panic with a breath, he fumbled about to look for a serviette but was distracted by an alien feeling against his skin.
Luna was flying in front of him, her small wings outstretched and softly flittering as she maintained eye contact with him. Her tongue was outstretched, her ass waving side to side, and she was currently leaned forwards with her tongue pressed against his cheek, cleaning up his mess. She licked every drop of ice cream from his face with soft and tender strokes, eventually working her way to his lips and cleaning them also as Troy stared on in stunned silence.
Was she propositioning him? Was it a bad thing that this felt immeasurably good? He could feel his face beginning to grow hot as he imagined what else she could be doing with her magical tongue, but just as his thoughts forgot the meaning of the words chaste and professionalism, she backed up and looked at him with a satisfied nod. "There, better."
"I... was that?" Troy wasn't sure what to say, he was absolutely flabbergasted and at least semi-hard. How had she had such an effect on him so quickly, and how could he not understand a thing she did?
"Oh, don't flatter yourself," Luna tittered, inspecting her claws. "I was merely still hungry. Also, you needed grooming."
Troy wasn't sure how he felt about that, but either way, he just got his lips licked by the ruler of the country. The incredibly sexy for a cat, well, let's be honest sexy in general ruler of the country, who was currently staring off into space as if he wasn't there. Suddenly, Troy felt as if he wanted Luna's attention again, and for the life of him he couldn't work out if that was her intent.
"I have some duties to attend to," Luna announced, leaping down onto the floor and walking towards the door, her body softly swaying as she gracefully stepped away, her head half-turned to look him over once more. "I trust you'll be happy to receive me in your chambers later?" She paused for a moment, cocking her head. "Or mine. Mine works too. I feel as if I should get to know you a little better, after all, and you can regale me of tales of your homeland. And if that gets boring? Well..." Luna's Cheshire grin was dark and sultry. "I'm sure we'll find something to occupy us."
Another flash! and she was gone, leaving Troy with his mouth hanging open for the second time since arriving. He had a headache and he wasn't sure it was from the ice cream. When Yarn had told him about this visit, he made it sound as if Luna was eager to try the haddock, but from what he was seeing, it almost seemed as if she was more eager to try him.
Usually, he'd class that as a massive success, but when the ambiguous 'maybe-wants-to-fuck-you' kitty is an as-sexy-as-she-is-powerful almighty princess? It's probably wise to be doubly sure that that is in fact what she wants.
All Troy knew right now was that Luna definitely seemed to be enjoying herself, and that was what mattered so long as he could also get her to enjoy the fish. Failing that? Maybe convincing her to enjoy him would get the job done equally well, but it didn't seem as if she needed much convincing.
As for Troy? He definitely didn't. He wanted to enjoy the fuck out of her, even if it meant being dragged out of the palace in chains and getting thrown in a dungeon. He was sick of being teased, first Lyra and Rainbow and now the princess of all cats? There was no way he was just ignoring this one.
No, he'd have to keep a very close eye on the princess and an equally close eye on his self-control if he wanted to get through this and out the other side without screwing something up. Honestly? He'd settle for screwing something. Somecat, to be precise.